Thinking Outside the Prompt…

Reaching My Destiny

Everyone seems to feel the need
to reach their destiny – as fast as they can
before the next, as fast as they can, or perhaps
Even set the record new…
My destiny however is just one step ahead
of me I’m in no rush to get there, to be
the first in line or right before you.
I however, take my sweet time with no

hurry or rush in mind, In spite of how slow
I may seem to be. I will reach my destiny
Just one patient step at a time.
I am a turtle and I live within myself
reaching my destiny. Just one patient step at a time
life is wonderful to me, and the scenery is
absolutely much too beautiful and full of surprises
and blessings much too precious to run past it all…
I am a turtle thought to be of the slowest
creatures to roam about. Still I refuse to
hurry push our pout…
I reach my destiny with a patient heart
and my destiny lies ahead, just one patient
step at a time.-BTO 

Man’s Own Prison Man is weak by his own hand for he
has fashioned God’s law into his own
confining manner of life chaining
himself with the coarse irons of the
rules of society which he desired and
he is steadfast in refusing to be aware
of the great tragedy he has cast upon.
Man has erected on this earth a prison
of quarrels from which he can’t now
escape, and misery is his voluntary
lot.

-BR Far Away

you’re close but so far away gone
we’ve changed with times change, both
hearts lost.
We no longer agree for love
we made up and fought we’ve lost loves
thought.
Now alone, great space, so far away.

-BR 

Young One!

Young One!! You’re a hero
with the power of strength
with your love you keep daddy safe.
“young one!”

–BR 

My Love My love like a dove
soars so high in my mind no lies
In your eyes so clear
No fear, from animosity
no broken pieces my love…

-BR 

Fear In The Hearts Of Men 

Against an attacker I will boldly take my stand
Because my heart will show fear for no man
But for a broken heart I run with fright
Scared to be blind in the darkness of night
I believe this fear is in every man
Some will acknowledge it others will fail to understand
There is no fear in a shallow heart
Because shallow hearts don’t fall apart
But feeling hearts that truly care
are fragile to the flow of cold air
and if I am to ever be true

then I must give my fragile heart to you
I hope we receive great joy and not no pain
so our love was not in vain…-LR 

As I sit here waiting patiently for our Lord
to release me from these shackles, snap
crackle pop. So I hear the doors unlock
upon my release, I can’t wait to hit
the streets, hit a beat, creep with these
so called friends and fam, bam! I can’t wait
till it’s here and I’m there, where
somewhere but here, but is here
really that bad, whey cuz I’m sad, or I
met a few cool lads by the name of
J or E, who I already knew but
were too cool to sit here and waste time
Not too many of us know these days
whose hearts are pure, true, real
and sane but our sanity continues
to draw us near with each other or
to the Lord. He continues his plans
and they’re never ours but ok I can’t
wait until my release, Thank you Lord
for always being generous and loving.

-JK 

Frosty Cold Heart When your heart turns frosty cold
It causes your soul to freeze
It spreads throughout you
Like Ice through your veins
The walls that once were down
now stand firm and tall
safe from love, hate, joy and pain
until you feel nothing at all
when your heart turns frosty cold
a baby’s cry means nothing
mothers and fathers neglecting children is daily
lonliness becomes your only friend
death seems so peaceful
sleeping is never pleasant
if you ever sleep at all
you turn from warm to cold blooded
to make sure the product gets sold
you don’t understand why I behave the way I do
then just wait till’ your hearts turns frost cold too!

-LR 

Untitled My greatest fears aren’t of death but livin’
and goin’ on with this troubled lifestyle I’ve been given
Driven by pain and the same of being’ broke I’m sinnin’
and paper chasin’ is the only way I know I can fix it.
This shit is deep…
No sleep so I load up and creep
and often times I feel I’m the only friend I got in the streets.
I’m all alone, so fuck them hoes and fake homies,
they weak…
The only beings I got true love for is my family and seeds,
a street breed…
burnin’ niggaz with the fire I breathe
A livin’ legend in the makin’ lord prepare for me.
Amen…
Because all these years that I’ve been don’ my thing,
Has pushed the only ones who love me even further away.
Lady,
please forgive me for all the drama I’ve given,
and all the scars upon ya heart
That I alone have inflicted.
It’s crazy and kinda hard for me to sit and express it,
So on this little piece of paper all my thoughts are imprinted.
Consider this a self confession to my truest of feelins’
but if my time expires early, then an explanation
for all those times you asked what’s wrong ,
but never got any answers…
and for all the times you did,
but wish you never even asked me…
Truth.

-D 

Who Am I 

Who am I? He threw me a new identity!
Dope’s out of my system, toxins are out of me.

Am I crazy? I think I found out.
The PSU Psyc says self medication
was really my route.

Na, Just liked to get high! But
I’ll stop, yeah I was in denial,
accepted the truth, and not even
on trial.

Trial, possibly? Attorney said
you’re facing 13 and habitual sentencing.

I’ve been sentenced to insecurity
I act as if it doesn’t really bother me.

God as my witness, what an atrocity!now that I’m stable I realize
things are temporary. Not for all eternity
I’ll get all things back soon
Shit I got a new identity!-KD 

1983 

I really blew it, I should have kept my
grades, but I let them slip away.
I had the moves – I had you, It was
supposed to be me and you through school.
Pero I let me get on the way of me.
But it’s all too late to appreciate, and too
dedicate from me to you.
Pero it is what it is. I let my ego get in
the way of a great play when legends are
made on the Albuquerque High parquet, not
naked as a blue jay, no way!
I should have made my grades go up and
away like Dr. Jay’s fade-away.
I should have prayed not strayed away!
But it’s ok – I was lame to say just go away
I should have cried!  Let me play on
Albuquerque High’s parquet but it’s too late, for
Jim Hulsman’s way
I need to let the past go away, so to say,
like Michael J – but! Because of my grades they
didn’t let me play. I regret the day I couldn’t play
on Albuquerque High parquet. What I need to do
is just lay, shit, fart, fuck, and say good day.
Because that’s all there is to say about my grades.-EA 

No Wrong Just Write 
No wrong just write
No wrong just write
Roses are red violets are blue
I like her smile but I want her kisses too
My life is a blank piece of paper
but when I start to write I become a painterto be or not to be seized
poetry is a part of me like heart beats
Like a bird in the summer I like to chirp
words orbit around my paper no gravitation
what I do with my pencil could change a nation
When my thoughts are aligned this is how I stop time
drilling all of my emotions down on blue lines

When I move my pencil I feel like a carpenter
or Michael Angelo chiseling down a sculpture
I don’t mean to offend but but my emotions
are unstable like oceans or explosions
if you press the right buttons it could be nuclear
That’s why I keep a pencil and a piece of paper
There’s no wrong I just write now everbody’s safer
From the beast that broke the leash with a sheet of paper
Poetry is more powerful than a coward though
my words break through milestones like volcanoes
hot lava burning with no fear I let the lead flow
like lightening in a bottle writing is electrical
Ben Franklin ain’t got nothing on my flow
I could write words for eternity dead sea scrolls
Writing words to the universe just to let em know
That there is not wrong just write, you got to let it flow.

-J 

5 Minute Head Clear 

On my own level I sometimes don’t

understand. but I can tell you, I’m a great

thing, a great asset to da’ word

talent. I do exist. hear me out, to myself,

for those whom I can care less about.

Like me or not, I’m fine with myself.

Trust me or not, hey dats my nam. Over

confident, cocky, I stay. Over achieve

in my own way, but damn can’t get dis’

shit right. Loved by most, act like I don’t care

fucked up head knows better… feel me…

I get it. On the other hand I see what is heard.

hear what is thought and never feel like shit

all too much. Ya get it. Huh? Never mind. I get

as I know. Knowledge flies out my trap runs

wild. That’s why you might remember bits and

pieces. Evidence of brain twisted thoughts

seem humanly right, only cuz I see it different.

now heads up, as I get yo’ attention

for my next line. Ya ready? Get greedy

to do shit right for yourself. Cuz you will

get left behind by others.

self inner peace phase.

~CE

Caged 

As the days grow colder, the chip

on my shoulder continues to grow.

Why must I be like this? Only

God knows.

While this storm inside me, builds

day by day.

All I can say, is stay the fuck

out of my way.

On a path of destruction, I’m

going down.

Don’t know if there’s time, to

turn it around.

The path I’m on has been nothing

but pain.

Constant struggles, that are

filled with shame.

With each minute that passes

I struggle to breathe.

The life that I’ve lived you

would never believe.

I’m surrounded by violence, drugs,

sex and greed.

I watched killings some beat

within inches of their life.

I guess they learned, the

love of money comes with

a price.

People say, I’m cruel and

filled with rage.

I’m just misunderstood

trapped in this cage.

In this cage, I have made

my home

If I don’t change I’ll die

here alone…

~M

LOW 

I’ve been feeling low, real low

like when Big George

knocked down Smokin’ Joe.

Down goes Frazier

Down goes Frazier

Down goes Frazier

not once

not twice

but thrice.

My thoughts are running

wild, running tick tick tick tick

can’t think can’t breathe someone help me

Maybe I should just let go

I don’t know, how high or low

Low I think I have

vertigo. Someone help me

I’m spinning out of control.

I feel as low as I can go.

~EA

Untitled 

Everyone always said I wasn’t shit but

you stayed by my side.

even when the demons had me mesmerized.

I stole from you even though I never really

meant to.

The demons had me convinced I couldn’t let

them go.

But you were there at the starting line.

ready to fight for your son’s life.

Even though everyone gave up on me but you

never could.

I never understood, why not.

With your sleepless nights I feel like shit.

When I think of you laying in bed and crying.

Hoping you won’t get the phone call that I’m dying.

I thought I knew it all.

When I needed you, you were just across the hall

I took it for granted.

And now I wish I was sitting on the couch with

you laughing

I now get upset knowing the path I chose

has you so far

in the mid-night where the monsters lurk you

nowhere to call

I’m sorry for all the hurt I caused

Please don’t ever give up on me I’ll always

love you mom

~ZD

Untitled 

I’m stuck behind these behind these bars.

Because of these scars on my arms.

I stab myself over and over cuz’ you say I’ll

be alright.

and late nights, I think of you, dream of you

I thought you loved me like I did you.

Even though I’ll see you with all my friends.

I didn’t care as long as I was next, on your

mind.

But over time I started to see, you never cared for me.

I stole from my family, just to keep you around.

All the dirt I did just to prove I was down. for

you.

Now my lil’ brother’s crying asking why, I always run

Back to you.

you would love to see me die.

I often wonder why, I can’t let you go.

I am stuck in your spell it never fails.

When you call for me I go running.

now my family hugging, onto me not wanting

to let go.

I promise and say it wont be

the same as the last time.

but now you put me back in this place, that I hate.

And you nowhere to be found.

Without you I’m sick.

I hate how I put myself through this shit.

I pick up the spoon and pull back with no

regrets.

Hoping this is the shot that puts me to death

I often say I won’t go back but you just

sit back and laugh.

With an open hand, knowing I’ll be back ’cause

I’m trapped.

~ZD

Rain 

Rain rain go away go away won’t you

come back another day another day

When my family needed me the most I was gone

on a dark and lonely road lonely road

I tried to call out for help but there was none

It’s like the Lord turned his back on his son

So then I turned to the streets and smoked some

drugs even though it was a small relief it wasn’t love

I needed me some money so robbery made it easy for

me in these streets I had to eat

Now I’m locked down

in MDC nowhere to go but the only place inside of me

my lonely soul.

So many say these are the last days so I pray

to the Lord would show us better days

All these drugs she can’t refrain she so insane sex for money is

the only thang that keeps her sane.

All these demons lurking in these streets their so mean.

I hope my death wont be in vain

to me can’t meet death

Revelations promise perilous times

how many times will we cheat and steal

and live our lives with endless lies

Are we ever going to wake up and change up

search our souls for the real in us

what it means to love

People try to come and tempt me but I’m too strong

I could never give consent to them

I know they wrong.

~JM

Thoughts 

Sitting here caught up in my messed up thoughts

and my bad understanding not knowing why I

can’t be free taken hostage by people that don’t

even know who I really am.

These people known as the system

as I sit here in this place I know as hell

some call it home or even jail.

Blinded like a bat in the light of day ’cause not

knowing what your fate is can be pretty painful

laying in my bunk at night thinking about my

little ones and my family.

Wondering how they’re making it out there

in the world without me is heart breaking

alone thinking back on all the fucked up mistakes

I made in life knowing I can’t go back and

change none of them now I sit hoping I can

get out of this shit hole.

So I can make up for all the lost time

is the question.

As I sit patiently in hopes of one day being

freed so I can have the chance to ask God

and my loved ones for their forgiveness because

tomorrow is never promised.

~JH

Life is Always Heard 

When you look at me and you look into my

eyes what do you see

Do you see me in disguise or do you wonder

does this man ever cry

or pay his dues or even pay his ties

I go to church as often

as I can everybody knows it’s hard not to sin

So I reminisce and I start to remember

the things I went through were harder than ever

but then I realized

there was someone by my side the whole time

and I wasn’t going to die

I never gave up when I was at my lowest point

I kept going even thought I wasn’t showing

my brothers from a younger day

how to get their pay I never understood why

the fuck I had to stay they put me through

hell I was always in a cage they never gave

me a chance to turn the next page.

Life is always hard always hard harder than

you think

life can break you down can make you frown

like a lost fish in the sea.

~JM

Untitled

The reason why I act like the junk yard dog that intimidates

All acts of life it smiles of kindness

it growls and mean mugs

I proceed with caution

I love and know it’s time to learn

like scars I wear like badges of honor of time

I left my guard down and been attacked from all sides

Love to me is like a game

I win at it a couple of times

then all of a sudden a new trick comes out

So then I hear growls

the redness covers my eyes

like captives in a whore house

Why did I become a person I despise

the reason I didn’t learn my ABC’s in school

I learned how to load my heart with hate

and gun with bullets

my thoughts with lies

so that’s the reason you don’t lock eyes

with his locked up mistried

misguided

mislead

under loved but

never

underestimated

~SM 

Back

Once again I’m back,
handcuffed behind my back
in the back
of a squad car, back
to booking at MDC
it’s fuckin’ wack
detoxing in PAC
eating this nasty ass lunch
in a sack
asking myself, will I ever get on track?
My family is mad
my son is sad,
wondering where is my dad?
And I’m sure my bitch ass
PO is fuckin’ glad!
Now my wife is saying
we’re getting divorced
goint to have to wait for
fuckin’ ever to go to court
hopefully this will be short
and back out,
praying the jury has reasonable doubt
trying not to pout
but somewhere deep,
deep inside I shout
and keeping my head up,
what’s up?
But one thing they can’t take
they can’t take my faith
My faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
Who paid the ultimate price
so to him I give all the praise
amazed by the grace, I’m free inside this place
and for those of you trying to hate I’m gone
without a trace.

~KJ

Good and Evil are Fighting Over Me 

It seems I’ve been fightin’ for an eternity
Lord can you help me… They’re always on the side of me…
Said they’re constantly arguin’… Good and Evil are fightin’ over me…
what to do with my mentality…

On my left is a lil’ Devil posted on a throne, for every lil’
thing he hints grab the chrome, he says he loves brain-splatter
whatever happens don’t even matter, so just aim for they dome, Zaye
don’t think about your actions or these tolls, I pay a high
pension no nightmares a few demons and ugly trolls, There’s even strippers
If you don’t mind them missin’ legs and parts of their faces dancin’ on
poles, you can be MVP of the team, a real “g” in the streets, A
soldier of my army in fiery sea, if you know what I mean…

It seems I’ve been fightin’ for an eternity
Lord can you help me… They’re always on the side of me…
Said they’re constantly arguin’… Good and Evil are fightin’ over me…
what to do with my mentality…

On my right side, where I ain’t even going to lie, this Angel appears
with a glow that was so bright. She said don’t listen to him Zaye he
preys on the weak, plus you are full of strength and most don’t even allow
the holy to speak, so we know you’re awake, what’s better you fightin’ for an army that don’t care about your fate, OR a holy army fightin’ for you because
you took the tiem to pray, you don’t need to shoot people in their dome
instead allow a loved one’s loved one to make it home. And maybe you will find a better feeling soul, The Devil’s a liar didn’t you hear him? Nightmares, demons and ugly trolls, It’s time for better judgement to show your gold, you don’t got to be evil to show you’re cold. Just turn your back on Satan and take up the Holy Ghost, you will be grateful for the feeling we impose.

It seems I’ve been fightin’ for an eternity
Lord can you help me… They’re always on the side of me…
Said they’re constantly arguin’… Good and Evil are fightin’ over me…
what to do with my mentality…

I think I’m too far gone, I’m fully blown, I’m swervin’ all over
the street I can’t find my way home, I got two pistols on the
seat and on on the side of me, All three of them loaded to go, A
black Mossberg in the trunk, a few would say now it’s on,
flashbacks of bad mishaps, a big blade for sick stabs, I’m
seriously about to relapse, All of my emotions and feelings are on these
tracks, I’m fightin’ with the good and evil both sound so good how
do I choose the right path, I’m in the streets doin’ the most
constantly makin’ Angels cry and listenin’ to my demons laugh, It’s
like my left side gets the besty of me in this hellish ride, while the
right gets the rest of me, Man this can’t be right, how
much must I endure before I find my cure, All I know God’s
gettin’ tired of wipin’ his Angels’ tears…

~IM 

A Letter to My Wife 

I am a dream to a woman who needs a man like me
Never bullshitting because she means so much
to me, Even though I was raised in some of the hardest
streets, I will always respect the woman God sent
down to me, For she is the oxygen I need to breath,
She’s my silver lining around my dark clouds in the sky
You see, If I didn’t have her I might as well die
because I wouldn’t be able to breathe, what can
I say “S” you mean so much to me, does it mean
I’m less of a “G” for falling for the one who was
meant for me, I’m drowning in love and this you will
see, You got me in your grasp like a shark in the sea,
I can’t wait to show you what I mean when I bow
down on one knee and ask you to marry me and if the
streets are hating we are doing something right
because I want to be the light that lights up your
whole night, so tell me girl are you down to take a
classic ride through life with me, and if so grab my hand
and let’s go.

~IM

Just Write

Lost
Lost in time
space.
feels like being left behind by mankind

Trying to find all time we lost
space between years making up
for lost tears.
Ringing silence is all you
hear waiting for words that
you recognize when you hear
them in cries!

The feeling of being so close
but yet so far is the loneliest
horrible most deepest feeling
you can hold

the feeling of lost in
time
space.

~MT 

Help + Support

Where can I go for
Help and Support
What I need the
most for my own self and my kids need
me to be there for them. I need help and
support from mom and dad I hope
that they come ’cause I need them
the most I don’t know what to do
anymore Lord please only you I can
trust and come.

~JG

What it Takes 

More than a troubadour I am willing
to work it out. Or as I have been
instructed to do by fellow life coaches
walk it out, to live out a good ending.
We all live lives worth telling  but some
really are amazing stories that exemplify
life lessons. Some lives as told by
the teller fall out on the lap of the
listener as a testimony – warnings of what
lies ahead if continued down the same
roads. While still others lives when shared
become a beacon displaying the right of passage.

My life is all this and more danger
signs and warnings, sorrows pain and heart ache
I have been in as many states as I have
appendages, and a quarter as many countries.
I have driven across this country in as many cars
and have traveled down
all the highways I can name a whole lot
of them. I have sailed through both
oceans and the one gulf that borders
this beautiful country. I have lost loved
ones violently taken from me in the middle
of the night. I have lost partners and
friends to the craziness of the
moment.

Recently I almost lost myself. It is
hard to take an honest look back at my life
Taking a look back, I’m glad I am here
to share it. This is not the first time
I have wrote, La vida loco.

Here is a little about me and how I feel
about why I want to put time and a lot
of effort into proving myself to people like
you and friends I hope to have, maybe a family.
Because it is never time to give up or
give in to what we know to be wrong.
Keep trying to do the right thing.
I have the wonderful opportunity to look
to a future. I have been through many
different of healings over the years.
But the real life lessons are making an
impact as I have gotten older. I don’t think
I will go through the dramatic stuff
I have gone through in my last 23 years
I certainly hope not. I have been taught
that whatever life lessons and challenges
that have unfolded in my life I see
what life is really about – learning and
personal growth. To me education is a
life long endeavor and I am still
earning my p.h.D in life. Thankfully I am
learning each and every day.

Now in the second half of my life,
or is it the beginning of a new life with
lessons learned from an old one?
My life has become an example of overcoming
adversities and never letting anything get
in your way. I have taken my limited
education, my strong faith, and the wisdom
of others who have thankfully crossed
my path and am in the process of
turning bad into good.

I lay awake with the weight
so heavy, my spirit grows darker
the night longer, and longer.

I do what it takes.

Stood here a thousand times before
stared into my own eyes a million
more, wore a groove into the floor.

I do what it takes.

Doubt and pain I call my friend,
here with me from the beginning
with me till the end.

I do what it takes.

In the shadows I found light
I found my courage
I found my fight.
In the darkness I have my sight

I do what it takes.

A warriors creed that I cry a solemn oath
to live by from this moment till
I die.

I do what it takes.

~CM 

You’re My

You’re my hope,
you’re my vision
you’re my inspiration
You’re my kiss,
you’re my hug,
you’re my love,
you’re my addiction
you’re my drug.
you’re my #1
you’re the reason to me never quitin’
You’re all of the above,
you’re the one I’m truly missin’

~IM

If…

If I asked the clouds to go away, and the sun to shine
it would be only for you
If I asked, the stars to shine
brighter than they’ve ever shown before,
it would only be for you.
If I asked the waters to recede and fill the ocean back,
It would only be for you.
Only because my heart belongs to you.
If today,
I breathed my last breath, then I
would die with you in mind.
I am yours. My heart is
locked and you posses the combinations,
my thoughts are filled
with you every moment,
my eyes shine bright because of you,
are the twinkle in them
You are a painted portrait of beauty
that none can tear down,
The moon shines bright
at night only because you exist,
without you this world
wouldn’t be the same.
A comet just missed Earth,
because God said you were here,
How lucky I am
that you are mine, In fact
luck can only be defined
as a gift from above.
My world is better with you in it.
Without you can only be described
like a tree without its fruit.
like grass that is not green,
like sky that is not blue,
like lightning without a spark,
without you.
life wouldn’t be the same.
You are a kiss with meaning.
A hug that is just right,
A touch that is pleasurable.
A feeling that I just don’t want to go away.
If you cry
Then I will ask the rain to pour, let the
clouds cry with you. To let you know, you mean that much
If you are sad, I will ask
the clouds to cover the sun, let a portion
of the Earth be sad with you. To let you know
you mean that much.
And if you smile, let a star explode
and fill the universe with light, let darkness
taste a little of what I taste.
and let me be the string in your instrument.
so God can play a beautiful melody.
only because you are mine, and I am yours.

~EL 

Untitled

Shit Happens
Shit eats
Rollin’ down shit alley
drifting down piss creek.
I’m where all the shit gathers
where all shit meets.
bustin’ tight flows
on MDC door beats
cops passing people hating
court dates soon, nah
they procrastinating.

All talk
bout loot, dope, 2 door coupes
wannabe killers who close their eyes
when they shoot
Ha ha – you make me laugh
think cause you took a life
that makes you a man.

I count cash till
I get a cramp in my hand
I take ten steps forward
but forgot my scale at the pad
and end up going back.
I put it in the air to forget all
the shit in the past

The motherfucker I shot
is me, laying flat on my back
You waste deep now what you gonna do
you got a pistol in your hand
APB out and your people
on the phone describe me to a T
I tried to make the cash
but the cash made me.

I hurt some people
in the process I’m speaking past tense
I would have left some cash
for my moms but
ain’t no cash left.
At the end of my road
bottom of the steps
I didn’t do well but
really tried my best.
To all my family
I hope all is well,
But pray for me
’cause I’m losing it in jail.

~SM 

Untitled

Harassed perhaps haunted by something within,
and within these walls beset.
Hopeful in anticipation for more
than just thoughts, yearning for action,
physically necessary the ambient air
not wanting to see her emotions through
my ear, dynamic and vivid and pure
in dreams she excites me to my thoughts
convey – continually a holocaust –
For – my imagination – needs
no more to say – all the sad occurrence
of what has not yet docked in reality
and yet the ebb and flow of my mind
soon will she be – I know that she is
but what of geography – would she

Next to me – defend aspire
and succeed – upon release we’ll see
convey in
uncertainty.
until then nightmares convey
uncertainty.

~CA 

Beginners

Introduction to strange but warm welcome.
Unknown to trust another stranger,
my heart tells me what matters the most.
Invitation to change, or fear to keep the
bondage of regrets.
Unknown by faith to believe I will
need him the most.
How do I ask for comfort and peace
knowing I’ve judged myself before
I’m forgiven.
How could I doubt the power that
gave me purpose to come up with this
letter.
When he showed me his true calling
and gave me the path I chose through
flesh, I accepted truth.
I can always say I’m thankful
for all the blessings I was given
Thank You.

~DC

Keep Counting

Day after day, Tears after Tears, Soul
after Soul, The Devil’s
counting, so smile with me. Cry after cry
prayer after prayer. Sins after sins
The Lord is probably counting and that’s fine with me.
Just remember as long as I’m alive, with
many things to count, I’ll never change
I’ll never change, things I’ve done
because they’ve been counted for. countless
times of countless crimes. My
judgment book has to be full.
steal, kill and destroy. I’ll be first to
admit I broke all the rules. Life is a
trip. Counting back. All the times I hurt
my family. It is what it is all I
can say is keep counting.

~IC

Untitled

Have you ever heard that you never hear
the shot that gets you? – well it’s true.
I don’t ever remember hitting the ground.
I remember following the light and landing
up here. Where here is is beyond me. I’m
so confused, i think my eyes are open but
I can’t be sure. I also don’t know if I’m
sitting or standing or laying down. Everything
is a foggy white and I feel as if I’m
embedded in Jello. I’m hoping coma but
i know I’m dead. I’ve read about this place
in the Bible it’s called “limbo” for the first
time in my life I’m starting to feel real fear.
If I’m in limbo then the rest of it is true.
Heaven, Hell, Paradise, the liquid fire.
How could I have been so stupid? Why
didn’t I ever think of dying? I never for
a moment thought of the hereafter. Now
what? I go in front of God and relive my
life to show the good and the bad. The lies
the hurt and pain i inflicted on others.
Will the nasty little thoughts of my warped
mind be seen. Who will be there to see me
in all my ill-fated glory? I know I wasn’t
all bad. I had my moments to shine. At
least enough to make me feel like I had a
right to feel good about myself or was it
an illusion caused by the drugs and alcohol i
pumped into my body. I could’ve done better
I know that now. Why oh why was I so
stupid. Why couldn’t I have chosen a better
path? Why couldn’t I have taken a moment
to see what was really before me?
There must be a way to make things right.
There must be a way to make it through the
Pearly Gates. The moment of truth is here
and now. Can’t they see that I am truly
sorry? That I would do anything to redeem
myself? At this point I’m sure that everyone
is feeling the same way. It’s the last
leg of everyones’ journey. What i wouldn’t do
for one of those plea bargaining Public Defenders
I hated so much to reduce my
sentence to half an eternity with good time.
Only a billion years of fire and brimstone
burning my soul as my bones are being
crushed to dust over and over again. Please
God I’m so very sorry. Just look into my
heart and you’ll see it’s true. The actions and
thoughts of my life were the pleasures of
the flesh. which you know is weak. I was
told of you and read your word later in life.
I just kept putting it off. Thinking I was
invincible. Well that was a lie just like the
rest of my life. Always comping up short Always
doing things my own way. Oh God Please
forgive me. Give me one more chance. I’ll
be all you want me to be and more. One
more chance is all I need. I feel my turn
is coming up. What should I say? What should
I do? Should I beg? Should I do it on
my knees? The door is opening I shut my
eyes I’m afraid to look. Something tells me
to open my eyes. I look I don’t see
God or Saint Peter, but only my bedroom
Dam do I need a shot.

~CG2

Hard Times

Hard times keep me up all night

Wondering why me?

Telling her promises
I couldn’t keep.

I try to so very hard
but things like this
drive us further apart.
I’m thinking of you too much it’s
driving me crazy.
Locked up in a cage
the state and the feds
trying to tame me
In the mirror I look
deeply into my eyes
wondering if I’ll ever change.
I never thought our memories could cause
so much pain.
Hard times
Hard times
It’s a never ending story
night after night
It’s already morning.
I wonder if you wake up
thinking of me
If you only knew
how many nights I stayed up
thinking of you.
I know I’m not the perfect person
in the world and I’ve
made many mistakes
Hard times
I gave you
my apologies are
obviously too late.

But our relationship is like a baby flower
cupped in my hand

Only one person in this world
that holds my heart and
can make me cry.
Bring back smiles
a perfect person
inside and out
with a beautiful spirit
A person that takes the time to listen
and know me better than I know myself.

A person I pray that will come back into
my life and give me another chance.
to love and protect and do right
my love for you will always and forever
shine.

Even through these trials and struggles  of
Hard times
Your voice on the phone makes me smile.
it’s an unexplainable feeling
it seems like nothings changed.
Without you I am not complete
I’ve made a lot of broken promises
but this last promise
I’ma keep
Hard times

Hard times
my love
I Promise

No more.

~IC

The Fight In Me

All I want is to train and fight

All I know is to fight
all the anger I have

Is tearing my life apart

All my life
all I did was fight

And all I want to do is
let it all out
the pain in my heart
I lost all I’ve worked for

No help cuz my life

No one wants a part  of.
the lost soul has come back
the ears in my eyes
the fight in the ring
I train for the day I will fight.
the people who turned on me
will see the man I am, is the
gifted poet.
all the past

In a box

I take a gas can to it.

~JG

My Prayer

Lord
give me the strength to overcome
this abyss
because you brought me into this world,
you can take me out,
a new life you have given me

A brand new entity,

I know if I hold on to you and stand fast
sober I will be at last
give me the wisdom
the knowledge
and understanding of your will
and let this rage inside of me
be still

I exist only because you made me

You said out of your mouth
let E.L be born
so he can say that I live
only because my lord lets me live,
If I die
then I shall gain a life that lives forever,

Out of infinity you thought of me
Lord
etch my name into eternity
take from me what I’ve done to myself
Let pride be a curse to my name
Let boasting slap me in the face
Let jealousy scourge me on my back
Let violence be a knife to my heart

And replace those burdens with a love that lives forever,
with a kindness that has no end,
with peace as high as the clouds,

With joy that has no end
and with faithfulness that out weighs the sun.

Lord
it’s in your name I pray,

Because it’s with you that I’m close
and it’s me that you chose.

~EL

A So Called Man

My whole life I’ve pretty much been
a fuck up

It seems like I could never do
anything right.
Skipped school
Sold drugs and
always got into fights
Damn that was the life.
or at least it
seemed that way.
for a long time I guess
I really didn’t care
Basically I said

Fuck the rules
I’ma played my own game.
doing whatever I wanted
Messing up left and right
doing dumb ass shit
and still walked around with no shame.

For some reason
I thought that’s what made a “man”

Just rolling around and not giving a damn.

But eventually
I grew older

Stopped and realized
that wasn’t a man at all
I was just a boy in disguise
none of that bullshit makes you a man.

But I guess I was still too young and dumb
to even begin to understand
what really defines you
as a man.
It’s not about being
with your homies out there banging
or even about staying out late at night
running da’ streets
and slanging.
So don’t believe what all these so called
“gangsters”
tell you!

Be a real man and just do you!
take care of your responsibilities

Watch over and protect your family
love and support

Your kids if you got any,

‘Cause your loved ones

need you more than you know,

don’t you want to be there
to watch your kids grow old?

Shit, I know I do

I always

Want to be in my kids’ lives.
that’s why from no on

I vow to quit fucking up

And start doing right

‘cause I know I want to be there

when it all ends
to walk with my family

into God’s heavenly light.

~CT

The Pain I Caused

I am sorry for the pain I caused
I know it hurt and still does,
to even think about it makes me so ashamed
that I cry myself to sleep every night,
But I admit I’m the only one to blame for the
terrible pain that I’ve caused

I understand I can never make the scar go away,
but I can give up the drugs and being a thug to be a better man
A man to treat you all with love, care, and concern
The way you should be treated and need to be treated
I truly do love you all
I’m definitely gonna strive to be that family man that you all want
and I know I can be
the truth remains that I’m sorry and ashamed of the THE PAIN  I
CAUSED

P.S. I AM SORRY FOR THE PAIN THAT I’VE CAUSED

~CM

Untitled

I feel like I stepped in a puddle that was ten feet deep,
and nobody can save me so they
watch me sink,
I’m not ready to go but I’ve got no choice
I wish that I could scream for help but
I got no voice
and then I wake up…
in a bed full of sweat,
my face covered in tears
and I’m huggin’ my tech,
this is the life I was given
this ain’t the life that I choose ,
seems like the devil he with me
everywhere that I go,
and he keeps tryin’ to tempt me cuz
he knows what I want,
I beg the Lord to forgive me and to bless all
my foes,
Still I be livin’ in evil and heart got the chills,
my partner died in my arts and I don’t know how to
feel, I had a talk with his moms but she know it is,
soon as I leave the house she pray to God that I don’t get

killed, I swear this ain’t a joke I got no reason to laugh,
Granny had a stoke I’ll lose my mind if she pass,
I dream bout suicide n’ I try to push it away,
but the pressure upon me
I should end it today,
n’ now my moms

hurtin’ cuz she ain’t raise me this way,
it seems the land turned him into this life of a stray,
but she still love him
he feel like a fuckin’ disgrace
cuz to him what kind of son could make tears come to her face,
and now it’s all bad but it’s just reachin’ the peak
he dressed in all black
just like a thief in the streets,
And if they cross paths then at the place that they meet
guaranteed one of the finna meet that
permanent sleep.

~JL

Bounce

I’m laying here trying to gather my thoughts
but they seem to bounce around. They bounce like me
on a Spiderman po-go-stick in the drive way
of my Dad’s front yard. The Spring breeze consumes my
body like a dip in a cool swimming pool. Me and my
big brother fight over the Superman one.
Bounce.
Speaking of Superman, B – that asshole. Never
again will i let him do a shot in my car, house or
anything I own for that matter. If it wasn’t for me
and my wife he would have lost his life that cold
Winter night. All I remember was my girls tears and
she was sincere as he turned blue. So blue
I joked with him telling him “I’m gonna change your
nickname to ese Smurf.
Bounce.
Just got released
my baby girl me and the kids moved to Gallup. The first
movie we seen was the Smurfs at Red Rock Theatre.
That was a great night held hands like
a teenage love the love we made was so good that me
and her cried.
Bounce.
My mind is like a Rolladex
Like Scarface I keep a diary. Yeah in my mind.
Bounce.

Back to a time just last Tuesday the man
in the mirror shed some tears started to cry, why? Word
from back home a man died. yeah they killed baby
all because of drugs a roommate that he
trusted a fake ass thug. My wife and mom tried
no furlow from the judge.
Bounce.
My thoughts I keep sorting. They keep bouncing like basket balls
Michael Jordan.
like eagles they keep soaring from G-town, Los Lunas, Burque all the way back
to this cell it’s so boring.
Bounce.
At age nine
got put on. The vida loca hurt my mom. Take
a good look, can you see what’s wrong
with that picture like Polaroids if you touch them
before they are finished.
Tattoos across the face,
hoods on the wall. RIP T-shirt for soldiers that fall
this is how we do it aint that right
Game in Old English.

Bounce.
You come to the honor pods and the person you are changes.
quicker than a spouse that just committed adultery switches
clothes that have nut stains. from zero to gangster
in 3.6 seconds. What happened to the real you?
the gangster has him hostage holding him for ransom. Do your
self a favor stop trying to be something you aint.
Cuz a real gangster is gonna

cross your path and your gonna get your cap

peeled faster than cheap ass paint. Me on the
real I ain’t hardcore and I’ll be the first to admit
it. I love God, my wife, my kids an will gladly
lay my life down for them and don’t

you forget it. I thank God every chance I get
for pumping the brakes. Cuz I’m no better than any man
tonight could have been my wake. I also thank you father
for another chance. And once I get
out instead of my thoughts like Juvenile
I will bounce back.

Bounce.

~LT

The Cell of Hell

As I sit in this cell with my mind
racing wondering where I’ll spend my end in
heaven or hell. I try to keep you from my
mind. But seems like you’re always there
but when I turn to my side you’re never there
ripping and tearing my heart beyond repair
Seems like I can’t turn anywhere. And the pain
I just can’t bear. ‘Cause all I do is wish that
you were here. But I know deep down in
my heart you’ll always be there. ‘Cause in

my heart is where you belong day after day
hour after hour I see your face trying to deal
with all this and keep myself from losing my
mind locked up in this hell hole but only God knows
where this road will end or if this heart will

ever mend they will never be able to take the
memories I cherish of us. I’ll forever keep them
close to my heart no matter how afar we are apart

~AC

My Mother

I can still remember
an alcoholic father laying hands
on a woman so special and dear to me
seeing that made me feel hate
I did not understand. Why?

I was only 6 years old
Too young to know how substances
and alcohol would make a person
so angry and ruthless
I grew resentment toward that man
the man I once called father.
I hate how he hurt you
I seen how you loved
and seen how he hated
Mother forgive me now if I am not a saint
you’ve done everything for me and both of
my brothers
through thick and thin you were
always a mother
I love you for that
you never gave up on any of us
I know I’ve made mistakes but as
a man I got to learn
All I want is to make you proud cuz
I’ve disappointed enough but teaching
myself how to be a man has been rough
I’d be lost without you mom
and that’s from the heart but I love
you forever and it’s till’ death do us part.

~MD

Unititled

Rose are red, wait roses are red? Was that
all that I said? Was that all I could think of
inside of my head. I take off in flight still
lying in bed. Breakin’ down these walls with this pen
to a world I will visit again and again. Escape the
place where mace can be sprayed in my face where
I am judged because of my race I’ve been wearing
glasses but begin to see what I truly can be
limits set only by me. Now I’m a king who can
sing wearing twenty gold rings that can now fly
because I just sprouted some wings.
Thank you Carlos
you are a true friend and until I visit again
I’ll be here at the beginning because my writing
will never end.

~CC

JuJu Star

A shooting star fell from the sky landing right next to
me, no it never left. Still shining bright as ever! “Movies”
waiting with her at the corner for Pops, he never showed! “Sleeping”
“Brother I’m scared will you sleep with me?” K sis “falling back to sleep.”

“Brother, Brother” What is it sister? “my legs hurt (growing pains)
will you rub them?” yes, sis, just tell me when to stop she
didn’t I rubbed them ’till the sun came up… Morning sis, “why didn’t

you stop?” You never told me to… Sleeping 4am “Brother wake up! come
sit with me while I get ready,” Ah man, I’m sleeping sis… “please”… oh ok

This was an every day thing back then… I remember singing in the kiddie pool

in the back yard, something like: (the old man is snoring, he bumped his head
and went to bed, something… the morning) To a room full of stars! Playing
in the dark, JR was the “king” and “Oso”!! Brother!! yes, sis?

Get me something to drink!! “No” 10, 9, 8 , 7 , 6 , 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 ,
you’re gonna get your ass kicked! LOL
She sang that to me.
As we grew we just became closer! years passed, I moved to AZ with you

driving back while you cried the whole way, hurt me so bad!  I wished and prayed, “God give me this pain, don’t ever let them feel like this again! Give it to me!”
Years went by…
Gentry Ln. was our street, Sleeping… “Brother Brother wake up!”
Wake up! I’m fine, I’ll be ok, it was just once, Heroin came in, taking over.
“God please help my baby brother” trying everything you could!
I took from you, we fought, so I freed you like a star and gave you space.
and you still didn’t give up! ” He’s doing heroin, he needs help” I went to jail.
Oh man was I mad, 2 years I was away. letters came filling me with joy
“I’m sorry brother!” you still didn’t give up on me! We got close again!
I came home on fire, did good for a year, getting too far ahead, you told me over and over
I fell harder than ever, roaming the street not seeing you guys for weeks, still you looked for me, calling my phone, even writing my status, Then I seen you,

you put me gas we walked together talking like was like old times! you told me this was my year 2013

we talked about a dream you had where I died, I cried, then you asked me
“Brother you’ve always followed me, can you please follow me now?!” God, I didn’t respond – we said our goodbyes! I sat in my Jeep and prayed for you! Then I was on my way

I’m sorry for all I’ve done, I really am I hope you know that! And now I sit in jail one more time, CCP could have went home.

I know it hurt you to leave me in here, but that was the best thing for me you said, still not giving up, why I ask myself? You tell me this is my year 2013

“This time we’ll get it right! Don’t worry brother, I’m here!”

~JR

Tears of a Clown

Me I’m the brother that’ll make you laugh

When you feel upset

I walk around like it’s all good, yet I’ve taken

Rough hits. Man I’m the life of the party

Everybody loves me people only see my good half
I see the bad and the ugly

Still I’m that brother

You can talk to or that shoulder to cry on. Hurt

Me and I’ll forgive you I let bygones be bygones

I got beef with nobody I got a million best friends

If you need me say when. I got your back ‘till the end

But at night when I lay down and there’s no one

Around I start to cry and only I can see the

Tears of a clown.

~JV

 

Feelings So Deep

My feelings so deep it’s like a knife

In the hands of a raging personality.

Deep within the unknown person I

Call upon, but not revealing true identities.

Shadows of a show-off cut through my

Breath, as it stands in the greys with grins

And giggles. I ask for forgiveness as it

Knocks against my pulsing veins, urging me to

Continue my masquerade. When I realize I’m

Comforted by the blankets of compassion. I’m

Warm to the embrace of insanity. I live

On.

~NA

Someday

The sound of graphite gliding across the blank page is an addiction,The rhythm of my heart is bound to the stroke of the hand holding the pencil,

And I pay tribute for the melody of the softly sung song,

Constantly with the lines drawn from the traumas of an unstable mind,

I scratch out images with patient regard, despite my restless nature,

Despite my need for instant gratification

The empty parchment is an exodus from everything,

My life, lived in breathes of imagination and exhibited in the finished product of my labors,

Proof of life,

Proof undeniable that I was here,

That I live,

 

Yesterdays and tomorrows I see at the edge of my jaded perception,

Thin and elusive,

Like the tendrils of cigarette smoke caught in the filtered rays of the rising sun,

Today in itself, blinds me to the truth it seems,

I see it as the record written in fragmented statements

The stifling result of all the times I said “someday”,

The someday that never came and the days I let slip,

The faltering steps I took in the wrong direction,

The staggering ballet,

Of an ego intoxicated juvenile to the drunken square dance of a lost man,

They culminate in the seconds that span my mind like eternity,

 

In the silent passage of rare solitude,

The past, the future and the could be run loquaciously like a conversation of lovers,

No stumbling words or uncertainty,

Just the grace and fulfillment of a lifetime of practice,

The years spent wiling away the hours waiting,

Always waiting for something,

 

Fear remains a strangely distant abstraction even as I picture the hungry times,

Hunger, gnawing at my guts like an animal in my belly,

Home and family consisting of a brother, a father and all my worldly possessions in a backpack,

My mother another abstraction,

Distant, 

Less at moments than any memory I could conjure,

Less than the fickle and fictional desires I scribble on accepting surfaces,

 

I say I’m addicted to the sound of graphite,

Because I tired of the countless sentences I spoke starting with the word someday,

Someday I won’t be,

Someday I will be,

Someday somebody will love me,

Someday I’ll not care what hurt the world holds for me,

 

Someday,

I won’t remember the hard times the most,

The beat up, beaver fur Stetson and the pictures of a barbequed single wide,

The clarity of pity seen in the eyes of passers-by and the shame of having to beg the populace for spare change,

But the choice was always charity and shame,

Or feeling the pain of hunger tearing away the excuses for not begging,

I’d always say someday it won’t be this way,

Someday there will be no more panhandling with the old man’s hat,

Someday,

It passed and my someday changed,

 

Someday became just another day passing,

More unwanted realities,

More pain,

Some self-inflicted,

Some just there,

 

Someday became my excuse to do nothing,

Be nothing and strive only to keep my head from sinking below the surface,

I was not living just barely surviving,

Not quite drowning,

All the old some days,

Are now yesterdays and not much more than the crusted lesions rendering my dreams impotent,

 

Someday I know in the quiet voice of a paintbrush,

In the sincere promises of a mechanical pencil,

In the fine line of my teetering thoughts,

That I will find the exit from the repetitive recital of someday,

 

Maybe, my attribution to living in the grips of addiction is just another excuse,

My enabling thought to escape,

To be a fugitive of my responsibility,

To let my world crumble and disappear into shadows and shapes,

The future and brittle hopes lost in the vanishing point of my framed expectations,

Or maybe it is just another someday uttered in helpless devotion to failure,

 

Someday I won’t need to hide behind a prepped canvas,

I’ll set aside my brush, pencils and charcoals and absorb the life I tried desperately to ignore,

Yeah someday I might recover from my soul sick addiction,

My crutch, for letting years pass, steadily by,

Someday,

Someday,

~MU

Untitled

Some people proclaim that we have no significance, and
just because we are convicts, our thoughts and dreams
which may be credulous at times have
no substance, but to those who
consider us lag, I tell you this we
do have meaning. Though some of
us will never leave this reformatory
physically. We will never relinquish
our minds to the ones who set out
to stifle the secret recesses of the
heart. We would rather rise against
those that doubt us, with an eruption,
as we expel from our lungs the most
profound and divine declaration, thus
emitting enlightenment, which in turn
would remove the vacuous looks from
their faces, as they finally realize we are

more than convicts.

~MM aka P

Phoenix

The hard breaks of life come,
Descending with the chaotic and turbulent beauty of a storm riding the horizon,
Fate swiftly exposing the wishful lies we tell ourselves,
As dreams become the thin threads of fantasy we cling to in the dark seconds of solitude,
We relive the failures of moments lost in our yesterdays as the shadows lurking within us,

Cast doubt on our best laid intentions.

I have felt the hard, cold break of shattered perception,
Felt my heart crumble with remorse in the silence of loneliness,
I’ve crashed and burned,
Fell face first into the depths of despair even as I tried to hold tight to my sanity,
I told those I loved that they meant nothing as they sheltered me in their love,
I denied the truth,
Spoke lies in the light and pushed affection aside with no regard for those whose worlds I tore apart.

Shattered perceptions
Lies,
Truths,
The words we speak and the deeds we commit in the hope of living,
Of feeling the elation of freedom,
The act of breaking the chain and walking away from the obligations, that bind.

The hard breaks always come,
And we tear at the seams and fall from the grace of self stated perfection,
We fall faster and faster until the friction ignites our fears and we burn,
We burn at both ends of the darkness until we are nothing but the fear,
Nothing but the failures and busted commitments,
We burn until the heat becomes more than our substance can withstand,
And all we are, become the ashes of desires untested,
The bitter taste of shallow promises made and broken.

The hard breaks of life come,
Shatter us and burn the essence of our beings to ghostlike images painted in the dust,
We become the ashes of burnt yesterdays,
But from those ashes we return,
Risen with life like a phantom of the future,
In the calm aftermath of defeat we become a symbol of faith,
A fierce image of redemption, the hope of better days.

From the hard breaks of life we become the living memory of a myth,
Again and again we rise,
Life from death,
Fire to ash and from loss to freedom,
Reborn like a phoenix in the night.

~MU

Exquisite Corspe (co-authored)

Like the moon I have a dark side and a light side.
Like yin and yang however not a battle of good and bad.but instead a battle within.
A grey composite of the side trying to swim.
not in a race neither truly trying to win.
About face to arms the journey starts in ten.
Nine bullets fly and break the egg-shell innocence of children.
Eight the resumed corpses stiff with rigor mortis dance waltzes.
Seven the same dance their ancestors went through for hundreds of years.
Six around and around the battle wages reports from newscasts to national head lining front pages.
Five another skeleton walks among us.
Who wishes he could rip the seams of his own skin.
Four and show the resemblances that reside when
Three torn in between he sits directly in the middle where oh where to begin.
Two only if the war has ended
one, but the battle has just begun.

~RC and MM

Life is but a Dream…

We live we die
We dream good we dream bad
We hate we love
We cry and we smile
most of all we live
a dream life.

~SD

Untitled

When you blow and the
flow blooms you bring
beauty in the Earth
for this is the sign of one’s true spirit
of which we come
so go and find your one true love
and in doing so you will have mastered
your inner self
and found your everlasting desire.

~SD

When I Met You

When I met you
I was nothing – now
I am everything –
When I thought all was lost –
everything was found – when I
thought you were gone –
you never left – when
I thought I was dead –
I was never alive – When I thought
my heart was broken –
it was never held –
when I thought I was destroyed
I was never at war – when
I am happy
I am sad
but when I met you –
I am.

~SD

Black as Night Blue as Day

I am black as night
and blue as day
I watch the sun rise
and wait for the sunset
for the night Iwatch
the stars and in
the blue sky you
see the sunrise
for in the sunset you
see the colorful sky
so black as night
and blue as day
and await the
wonderful world’s
colors.

~SD

Untitled

You make a promise
then you brake it
you make a promise
then you turn it into a lie
you make me believe
then destory my belief
you give me hope
then you make me think
there was no hope
I am but a man
who has been disappointed
his whole life
and wants to believe
that promises
are kept
and that there is hope.

~SD

Femme Fatale 

My name is tattooed
south of my bellybutton
nestled between the hill of my hipbones,
barely covered by low slung cotton panties
that you inch downward with
an aching slowness,
tracing
the black inked letters
onto the tip of your
tongue.

My nickname is any Spanish endearment
that rushes forth from between your
parted lips, spoken hot
and spoken fast.

I love the sound
of this language I don’t
understand.

You speak and
my body responds.

I am like a field,
my body rich and fertile.
Ready to be cultivated.
Ready to be turned over as easy
as loos soil under the steady push
of your palms.

My heart is a silent witness,
sitting on a chair in the corner
recording our secret sins, memorizing
what we say with our bodies
but are unable to speak
into existence.

My soul is strung taunt between two worlds,
a tightrope that crosses the line of
straight to gay, vibrating with
tension at the touch of your
fingertips.

My soul sings,
my soul resonates in the presence
of your female spirit.

If my hands could speak they would say
I love the soft hills of your body,
they would confess secrets found
hidden in the valley between
your thighs, my hands
have been lost along
the landscape,
traveling
from the sharp point
of clavicle to
kneecaps to
the tender bottoms
of your feet.

I love the smell of your skin,
a sweet and salty perfume
of your feminine scent
mingling
with the brine
of ocean on
the inside
of your
thighs.
I hate the sound of bedsprings
creaking as you get up
and get dressed again,
the heavy sound of the door
slamming behind you when
you leave me again.

In your absence my mind overflows
like a swollen river in turmoil, flooding forth
with images of us together,
pressed breast to breast,
locked hip to hip,
our legs a tangled
love knot.

I remember who I am
best when I’m with you,
allowed only to exist within the space
of our stolen afternoons and
the width of your spread
thighs.

I remember what it feels
like to be a woman,
unashamed and free
from the unrealistic
expectations of men.

If there was a word on my forehead
it would be freedom,
the freedom to love whoever
I want regardless of gender,
freedom from judgement,
freedom to love ever part
that makes you a woman.

My over tells me
you’re so beautiful
you’re so brace,
not knowing she’s
the one who gives me
the strength to
believe it.

~EG