Thinking Outside The Prompt…

Auntie’s Love 

You were my auntie but instead you were my mom. You took me to school, did my hair and even put a band aid on when I hurt my knee. I love you like a mom I never had but instead of a mom, I got you the best auntie I ever could have. You taught me how to read and write, how to cook and even about the birds and bees. You held my hand through the ups and downs in having a teenager that had an attitude problem. When I needed to cry you were the shoulder to cry on. You have been my mom ever since I could remember you are not only my auntie or my mom you are my best friend. I’m so grateful to have you in my life. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if you weren’t in my life and this is for you my best friend and my auntie. I love you more than words can express so thank you for always being there for me~MT

 

 

A lost soul 

Walking around not knowing where to go

Having a blank look on your face not have a care in the world

Your mind is running free

Your spirit is the same you pretend to be happy

With a fake smile on your face but deep down inside

You are lost

You can’t see the light but you wish you could be found

You want to see the light

I have become a better person because of you

I live my life the way I want you to live yours

Not exactly the same you can add your own little twists

I’ll be there for you like my mother wasn’t

You can tell me everything and anything

I have become a better mom because of you and your brother and I love you guys for that

 

            The words can’t express all the guilt

There is something or sometimes I want to give up

I know I have a lot of things to change

Change is a good and bad thing

Right now the change is what I want

I know that giving up is not an option

I look at their tiny little faces

And see the light

I have a chance to change not just for me but for them

I have so much to do and a lot of hard work

You can hide your sadness by a smile

When you don’t smile how can you hide your sadness in eyes

Sadness comes in, you can put makeup to cover the pain there isn’t enough makeup to cover the scars in your eyes

 

~MT

 

Pain

Pain is a word I use every day

            It’s a daily thing in my life

            I’m tired of all the meds

            All the rolling of the eyes when I’m having a bad day

            Nobody understands what I’m going through

            I wish that I could figure out what is wrong

            ‘Cause the pain I have is driving me crazy

 

Judging a person doesn’t define who they are

It defines who you are

~MT

 

Cancer

            Cancer you came into my life at a young age

            I watched my dad and grandparents and my niece go from normal to      nothing

            Cancer doesn’t see color, shape, size, and even age

            Cancer is a drug that no one wants

            But once you have it is hard to get rid of  

            There are treatments you can do

            But like anything else it can come back

 

~MT

 

Moms

My home is filled with toys and fingerprints on everything

It’s never quiet, my hair is usually a mess, make up is rare and I’m always tired

But there is love and laughter here

In 20 years my kiddos won’t remember the house or my hair, but they will remember the time we spent together and the love they felt

Your babies only get one childhood so make it a good one

 
~MT

 

Love

 

How could I be so stupid to let you slip away,

I had you in my arms but I let you slip away.

I want you back but now it’s too late, I’ve already said goodbye

And now that love I had has turned into hate.

I want to go back in time and fix all that was wrong

Change all of my regrets so we didn’t fight as long.

The regrets are what fucked it up and they are my entire fault

I was so immature; I should have acted like an adult

I broke my own heart when I walked out on you

Now it’s too late and I can’t undo

But I still love you

 

~MT

 

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You break me down,

Tear me up inside,

Make me cry,

And all I do is love you,

I want to end the cycle of pain,

But I don’t know how to help you

I’ve been through so much with you and you still don’t get the pain

You give me I need you there for me

There was a time when all I thought of was you

Your kisses, hugs, and smile too

When you look at me all I see is hate and anger

I know when I got sick I shut you out

And I’m sorry for that

The pain inside it makes me crazy

 

~MT

 

A Letter To My Younger Self… 

It’s been a long time, how are you?  Are you still wild, crazy out of your mind, even lazy, that was my bad side. I never knew my dad side maybe now that I finally talked to my dad for the first time in my life. I don’t have to listen to my younger self crying, always lying, fighting to be noticed, always trying to show the younger self’s lost pain so others can understand it’s pain. This is my first hello and now it’s my first goodbye sweet child of mine, don’t cry, as I say bye, for it’s not a forever because you are clever, you’ll come out once in a while, so cheer up and smile, you are a part of my style. Just stay here inside of me not mad, not sad, but happily.

~KM

 

If I Could 

If I could…

Have everlasting life here on earth,

I would learn everything there is to learn about the world.

If I could…

Defend your honor I would, but

 Now I can’t because I’m busy defending mine.

If I could…

Walk on water, I would teach you too.

If I could…

Visit Heaven, I would tell you all about it.

If I could…

I would but I can’t, I’m on C.C.P lock down.

If I could…

 

~KM

 

The People I Love

 

I just want to stay a while, show you love, make you happy, see you smile.

 If you’re down, bring you up, one word of love, just to bring you up.

 Let it shine, I’ll never leave you behind, just to remind you, I’ll always have love for you no matter what you’ve been through.

I hope you know, I hope you understand. I’ll bring you in out of the cold.

If you’re homeless, I’ll let you know you have a home now.

Prayers being answered, hope, blessings, keep your faith, wipe your tears from your face.

 No more pain, I’ll help heal your loss, no more bleeding, no more needing.

Just live, love has come in time of need. To the people I love.

 

~KM

 

You Think You Know But You Have No Idea…

 

You think you know but you have no idea, what it’s like when your lost or maybe you do, in your own way.

By the way I felt it, it was like being lost in a maze of hurt and pain.

On the streets lost no one there to give you advice, so you make your own advice, don’t trust anyone.

Not even when a beautiful girl who wants to love you.

Inside you keep telling yourself it’s not true.

You learn pride in a bad way, ice hanging off your heart, pushing people away, always telling yourself there’s no way people care, you’re alone in this world.

Now I’m coming back from being lost, give me a hand or a cheer, you can do it once upon a time loco.

You learned to be a man in the worst way but you made it.

Now you have no reason to fuck up, come on world, bring it, I can do it all.

Thanks for the lesson it was good, teach, not down and out but up and going to my destination.

I never saw my future but now I can see it clearly.

You didn’t know but now you do.

Thanks for the lesson, see you around my great teacher, the world.

 

~KM

 

A Lesson From Me

 

A lesson from me you probably wouldn’t like.

Because it wouldn’t just be a lesson, it would be lessons, more than one, some just for fun.

I hope you learn, if not, I’m not the one who got burned.

Just in case , erase that look on you’re face.

Hardcore, what for, to show you the right door.

This is my lesson. Pain the thing that will drive you insane, but you got to regain what you lost, if you have to pay cost.

 Back on the right path, listen to what you’ve been told, before you grow too old and lose what has been lost before.

Unable to pay the cost.

A lesson from me.

 

~KM

 

If Walls Could Talk

 

If walls could talk…

I’m all ears.

If walls could talk…

I’m all fears.

If walls coulds talk…

I’m all tears.

If walls could talk…

I would always have someone

To talk to while I’m sitting in a cell.

If walls could talk…

I’d wonder if they’d have names.

If walls could talk…

Would the inside of a jail want to be free,

Would walls in the city want to be out in the country.

If walls could talk…

Would they give me ideas or help me

With my way in life.

If walls could talk…

Could they sing to me when I’m down.

If walls could talk..

Would they understand pain or emotion.

If walls could talk…

Could they lie or tell the truth.

If walls could talk…

Well they talk talk non-stop.

If walls could talk…

If walls could talk…

 

~KM

 

The First Time…

 

The first time I talked to my mom I got smacked. It hurt and burn, that is the way it felt.

 If I say another word she’ll get the belt, shhhh, just hold your tongue even though you feel angry, walk away. You remember the pain she can inflict on you.

 You will rebel later because people will ask, what’s wrong with your son, did you whip his ass, beat, harm. Look at the bruises on his back, his arm.

 That’s probably why he’s acting angry, out of control. The beatings inflicted on him take a toll. On the inside always crying, mom stop your lying. Tell them the truth, tell them it was you who knocked out my tooth.

 I didn’t fall, it wasn’t that at all, am I the one to make the call, I guess so, it’s time to go. Where too, I don’t know just as long as it’s away from you.

I never snitched even though you beat me when I busted my lip and it needed a stitch, needle and thread, hate in my head but I never listened to my head.

I listened to my heart and to the love I have for you, get smart mom, I know you’ve been to jail, so smell the truth your son is standing by you no matter how much you hurt me.

I love you can’t you see. I love you, one more time I love you. I always knew you could be soft or the boss, I never gave up on you because I never wanted to lose you. I love you mom.

 

~KM