What have I lost? What have I gained?

What have I lost? What have I gained?
If you got a minute,
I got a whole list.
It’s not close to finished
but you’ll get the gist.
First there’s my freedom,
next there’s my time,
A whole lot of loved ones,
and also my mind
Nothing is worse,
than to relive the pain,
time to switch gears,
On to what I have gained
Sobriety for me is first on the list
self-worth and respect,
plus the love of my kids,
Trust is foremost for me, the best gift.

What have I lost?
What have I gained?

How can I loose when
I think I’ve lost
or not see that I can’t have both.
To lose is to gain and to gain is to lose…to me…
So it’s an endless measure
of tics and tacs
and dids and don’ts
and this and that’s….
to me anyway

And by the way…
it’s ying & yang…
to me… anyway.


I have lost…
I have gained…

I have lost my home, my car, my clothes
I have lost everything I own
I lost my husband and children even
though they are home
I have lost my mind but mostly I
can’t seem to find the love I once
carried in my heart

I have gained maturity and purity
to a new life with dignity
Even my children came back Noble, Honor, Serenity,
Integrity, Tenacity, even my grandbaby Courage knows all in time
I will regain a home, a car, some clothes,
I am mostly thrilled to have gained
from Isaac more love than ever before.


What have I lost… what have I gained

I’ve taken the time to get to know myself.
The process has been long and grueling.
What I discovered is that I didn’t know my “true” self
at all.
I’ve been living a façade.
I had presented an image to people
around me according to my agenda
I was a fake and a fraud.
Throughout this painful discovery
what I ultimately realized is I had lost was… me.

What a terrible thing it was to learn that I had no identity,
nothing authentic or original about me.
I made the decision to change
and I wanted to start with the way I treated people. I decided that I needed to look at people in a whole new way. Starting with their value.
I was forced to look at the wretch I had become and start with my selfishness and a long painful journey I am finally the real me. I have gained my true… me.


What have I lost
What have I gained

I’ve lost more than I can ever get back,
My heart breaks every day
I smile, I laugh, I pretend nothing is wrong
But deep in my soul
I am so sad,
Deep bone weary sad
I’ve lost both my beautiful daughters
But even though they’re not with me
I know they’re happy with someone else
And I know I’m only 26 I’m young and I pray
God gives me another chance
But even though I’m sad
I know at times I can be happy again
I’ve got friends, family I’m young, beautiful and I pray I have another chance to do
It all right this time
God willing.

What have I lost?
What have I gained?

I have lost lots of time being here – jail;
I’m so devastated to say the least.
I think about all the time I should be utilizing my time correctly.
I need to organize myself;
I’m just feeling frustrated with myself.
Where should I start?
I can’t think because I lost so much time
Accomplishing nothing…
I have gained nothing here…


What have you lost? What have I gained?

My love, my dreams, my matter have vanished.
I speak to them but I only get a little
bit back from one.
The chosen one is the one pulling me out of my darkness.
She gave me hope, courage, love, and ambition back.

What have you lost? What have you gained?
What have I lost? At all cost, my freedom I’ll say.
What I gained? Besides my sanity? If I may, my self-respect, my love for me, Bree.
I lost it all, my job, my car, my home, my purse, hell I even forgot about being a nurse!


What have you gained
Let it show
What you lost
Nobody knows
We gained knowledge
From what we gained
From what we lost
We gained the same.