When no one is looking

When no one is looking

When no one is looking
is when I focus on my feelings,
feelings I hide all day
because when I’m out of my cell
it’s fun, excitement, and play time.
I walk around laughing and joking all day
not caring about anything
that will make me feel some type of way.
The only time I am actually doing time
is when I’m locked down.
When the door shuts,
and I’m all alone
is when I think about my mistakes,
my children,
and about all the things I’ve done.
I tell voices to please stop and I’m sorry,
leave me alone, stuff like that.
Sometimes I hear my children,
or I can hear songs
that our people and spirits sing
on the pueblo
and sometimes it makes me feel good
and sometimes it is really scary.
When no one is looking
is when I learn a lot about myself,
and so far I learned
I have to be real careful
because I am actually
a very sad and angry person.

-ACOMA

When no one is looking…

I find myself thinking about
what I could of done different
Stuck in the past
only to find no control
and find myself alone inside

When no one is looking
I constantly try to remain calm
as if my urges to get high
are in control. Truth is I’m still
trying to tell myself I can get high.

When nobody is looking
I usually want to come off the wall.
Blow up. I’m stuck in the past.

When no one is looking I feel everything.

When no one is looking,
I’m looking at myself
and I judge myself.

When nobody is looking
I’m usually looking for
a way to come up.
Looking for trouble.
Looking for dope.

When no one is looking
I think I’m going to get away
with all the dirt I’ve caused
and think the people I hurt will forget.
Feeling numb is my favorite,
Truth is,
I hate my past
I need help.
And I’m stuck in the mud,
Could you please call somebody
My body is done running.
My mind is lost.

When no one is looking..

I tend to do the wrong thing. I guess that’s how I ended up in jail.
When no one is looking I get myself into trouble.

-unknown

When no one is looking
Through love become
slaves of one another.

When no one is looking,
enjoy the space between the noise.

When no one is looking,
LOOK!

-MDA

When no one is looking…

I sometimes hesitate,
instead of just goin’ in,
you’ll notice I pump the breaks,
Don’t care much
what people think,
cause most of these fucks are fake,
very few are willing to give,
but all of ‘em down to take,
me, I just keep it moving,
Leaving ‘em in my wake,
hope to show that I am improving,
no matter what is at stake!

When no one is looking..
I tend to second guess myself,
knowing that negativity is bad
for everyone’s health,
sometimes,
it’s all that I’m good at,
no wonder I’m in a cell.

-AR

When no one is looking…

I feel like integrity is the best way.

But of course I’m not perfect and I turn away.

When no one is looking I want to have faith

And I want to make sure that I always have strength

But time takes its toll and those thoughts can run wild.

So often I wish I could still be a child.

But we never know what we have till it’s gone

So when no one is looking I try to hold on.

-PA

When no one is looking…

When no one is looking
I sometimes feel free
Like I can finally breathe
I feel so pressured sometimes
that I don’t feel like me
I have to live up to what others believe
but when they are not looking
it’s such a relief
I lose sight of the real me
But sometimes it’s better with eyes on me
because I seem to get in trouble
When no one is looking.

-TR

When no one is looking

What do you do when no one is looking?
Are you a thief? a cheat? or something worse?
To me when no one is looking
I still try to be the girl I want my daughter to be
honest, loving, caring,
cause even though I think
she’s not looking,
she could be watching without my knowledge
and even when no one else is looking
I know deep down what is right and wrong,
and looking back years from now,
I wanna be that girl that can be trusted,
And God sees everything
so when no one’s looking
don’t forget God is watching
and on Judgement day
all those things you did
when no one was watching,
you will be held accountable for
so live your life with no regrets,
be the girl that grows into a beautiful woman,
and always live your life
as though you’re being watched,
even when no one is looking.

-SJ

When no one is looking

When no one is looking do I become
the real me or am I fooling myself,
I guess I’ll have to
examine that one more closely
for the answer.

The ramblings of a mad woman
running through my head.
The minutes right before sleep
or just after the lights are turned off.

There’s men in my vent
and they have a vacuum.
I wonder if they know someone is looking.

-Showtough

When no one is looking

When no one is looking
I wonder what they are thinking

When no one is looking
I wish what I was doing would
actually make people proud

When no one is looking
I don’t feel so big and bad

When no one is looking
I pretend he’s still here

When no one is looking
I close my eyes and pretend
I can still see him.

When no one is looking
I try and think of what I
could do better

When no one is looking
I feel normal inside
When no one is looking!
my temptations aren’t so bad

When no one is looking!

-AS

When no one is looking
I may be-coming
closer to you
I may be-coming in my
direction to you

When no one is looking
I am,
at how be-coming
you’ve become.

-MS

When no one is looking…

When no one is looking
I am
When no one is looking
I still feel watched
When no one is looking
does the sun still shine?
When no one is looking
how do we know birds still fly?
When no one is looking
God is.

-AB

When no one is looking
my heart bleeds
I feel like life has ran its course
and has stolen my joy
When no one is looking
I sit in despair
and hope that when I wake I find
someone there.
When no one is looking I stare
and feel like I have no
hope to spare.
I hope that one day
when no one is looking
I find myself again
and say,
look how beautiful and wonderful
you have found yourself again.

-MA